Neurotically Yours

And nothing says "shitty cartoon" quite like Neurotically Yours, "written" and "animated" by Jonathan Ian Mathers, otherwise known as illwillpress. Let me give you all a rundown of this overhyped flash series and all it's characters.

Neurotically Yours is about Foamy, a squirrel with a superiority complex. The each cartoon is about either A. Foamy ranting about something and expecting people to care, B. Foamy talking about how he's "the greatest thing in existance" and expecting people to care, C. Foamy singing about how he's "the greatest thing in existance" and expecting people to care, or D. one of the other side characters filling their niche and nothing more.

Speaking of side characters, this cartoon's filled with more side characters than it needs. You've got Pillz-E, a generic pill-popping squirrel; Begley (or however the fuck his name is spelled), the stereotypical British squirrel that is rarely seen compared to the other side characters; The Hatta, a very racially motivated BLACK squirrel, Germaine, Foamy's human "owner" (although later toons would have you suggest that NOBODY CONTROLS FOAMY HAR HAR HAR and that he's merely living with her) and source of all of illwillpress' repressed sexual desires, and The Pizza Guy, a guy who stalks Germaine (and is probably a representation of illwillpress himself).

Then once you're finished with the recurring one-trick pony characters, you've also got "hilarious" representations of businesses and the problems of the world, like the blatantly homosexual Starshmucks (see what illwill did there? He's so clever!) Worker or the stereotypical Indian Tech Support Guy, who, "like real outsourced workers" knows nothing about computers, doesn't speak English well, and wears a turban. Yep, that's Indians for ya.

Now, I'm going to put the aggrivatingly annoying nature of the main character on hold for a minute to say something about character development. In 99% of all cartoon series, you learn more and more about the characters throughout the series. The reason for this is so that you as a viewer can connect more with the character, regardless of if it's a cartoon or otherwise.

Character development is something illwillpress skimmed over when it came to ALL his characters. Instead of expanding upon the recurring characters to increase the overall humor of these characters, they don't change at all. The first episode concerning Pillz-E is about him being a pill-popper, while the most recent episode with Pillz-E is about him being a pill-popper. The closest thing that illwill ever came to character development was making the British squirrel a master of programming. He's a master of programming, you know. Did you know? I didn't know. Were there any clues before this episode that he had any knowledge of programming? No, none.

Take a look at that cartoon for a minute, by the way, because you'll find a recurring theme in illwill's later works: sex. Oh yes, all the female characters are whores with huge tits, while the male characters are creepy perverts who buy sex toys from Japan and stalk women. And that isn't saying much, by the way, since there's only one female and one "real" male character in the series (Starshmucks Worker and Outsourced Indian Tech Guy notwithstanding). Oh yes, every episode starring Germaine includes her either spitting up semen in her sleep, eating chocolate filled with semen (sent by Pizza Stalker, of course), rubbing her tits on her computer screen, or some other way to fulfill illwill's crushing sexual tension. Or maybe it's not, maybe he's perfectly fine and he's just pandering to his fanbase. I can't exactly blame him if so.

His "loyal viewers" are 13-15 year olds who have just hit puberty and think they know everything about everything. They sport shirts with Foamy's visage on it, and whenever someone questions who Foamy is, they scoff as if they're better than them. Indeed, they take after their "lord and master" extremely, excessively, creepily well. They're also horndogs too, let me tell ya. They beg and plead for a bit of Germaine nudity (or, sometimes, Foamy nudity). Eventually, he listened.

Finally, i'll get back to how annoying it is. You know, if you have a character who wants to speak up about something happening in the world, that's fine. It is not fine, however, when the character takes a "high and mighty" stance on said world problem. Nothing irritates me more about this cartoon than the fact that 85% of all of the cartoons are illwillpress using his character to tell the world, "My views are the greatest and I deserve to have praise showered on me because my views are awesome and anyone who disagrees should die because i'm great". Cartoons are meant for entertainment, not preachy bullshit spouted by some "know-it-all" college guy who set the pitch adjustment in Audacity about 8 decibels too high.

And that wraps up what I have to say. I could go on about how his art style isn't art so much as it is amazing stop-go tween magic, but I for one prefer to notice content over drawing. So, stay far away from Neurotically Yours, unless you're the aforementioned 13 year old fan, in which case you probably stopped reading after you saw the link to the picture of Germaine's tits.